what do you see

(rainy day at home, no idea when)

Ogilvy, will you become my first love?

Reading a lot lately. Most of them would have never made it in to my book list in the past but now they do. Thinking more about how I'm going to prepare myself for the coming year and much is clear.

Used to worry about if I really knew myself enough. Am I going in a direction everyone else wants me to think as a good path? Or do I really have the passion for what I want? I love music and visual art and of course movies. In the past I wanted to be a creative director or a movie director but then I wasn't so certain.

Anyway, after a lecture tonight by an AIESEC alumni (CEO of an company in KH) I think I'm more than ready to fight until sNCF. I guess the goals for this year are also clearer than ever and I don't care what others think, not even my parents this time. I thank them for being very supportive all the way though they are not too happy about where I'm headed. But this is my future and I'm the one who's going to take full responsibility, right?

Met with a few friends last week in a trip to Taipei and I'm scheduled for another one in December. There's so much I left in the past and I'm trying to find them back into life once again. Friends that I once knew, feelings I once had, experiences I should have experienced... I'm living more than I did in my past ten years. I'm packed with the courage I once had when I was young and I have the knowledge how to make that courage work, all I have to do is believe in what I love.

I always believed I am creative. Actually, everyone is. A friend wrote this on her msn, it said "There really is no such thing as art. There are only artists". We define what we see and create. So I really care about the athenticity of my work. But sometimes just like why some people buy fake stuff, who knows if it's real? It's also true that nothing is really original for everything must have a signature of something, but when I create something (which is much more difficult than copying and pasting) and no one believes so, makes me kinda frustrated. But it's true we all learn by copying in some way. Like when you read, you're learning someone elses opinion on an issue. You could come up with the same thing in life but when you read, you get it effortlessly. So is it true we only care for the results? I don't know but I'm sure I'm spending a little too much time writing a blog, which is almost 20 minutes.

Last question.

Do I really care about AIESEC too much sometimes it's more important to me than friends?

This must be some confusing post.